


Happy Birthday to You

by transriot



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jeremy-centric, M/M, other characters mentioned through text
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 01:54:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17437667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transriot/pseuds/transriot
Summary: Jeremy is turning eighteen tomorrow, and he's not excited about it. In fact, he's the opposite of being excited.He just wanted a normal day.





	Happy Birthday to You

**Author's Note:**

> I turn eighteen tomorrow/today (the 16th) and I've been having some feelings so i projected them onto jeremy

Jeremy  _ hates _ his birthday.

Well, maybe hate was a strong word. It was the easiest way to explain his overly complex feelings about his birthday though.

There were some aspects about it he liked. He liked to hear words of love and admiration from people he knew, but it wasn't like he lacked attention in his life. Almost every other day his dad reminded him how much he was proud of him, and his friends did the same (it was, of course, beneficial and mutual). And there was cake and his dad usually made him his favorite meal and how could Jeremy resist cake? It was fucking cake. A G-d sent creation that was one of the best things to ever exist.

But aside from those things, Jeremy didn't care for birthdays. 

Jeremy didn't like being the center of attention. He wasn't comfortable about having an entire day apparently dedicated to him. He didn't think birthdays were even something that should be a big deal, at least, he didn't think that  _ his  _ should be a big deal. All that was happening was that he was turning a year older. The last time Jeremy had been excited about his birthday was when he was turning ten and that was because he was turning “double digits.”

He was turning eighteen. In the morning, after he went to bed, he would be a legal adult and finally allowed to buy sparklers by himself which was probably the only thing he was excited about. Well, getting a tattoo in a real shop instead of a stick and poke sounded exciting too. 

And he would be celebrated all day. He knew that Christine was already planning on going all out. Brooke kept bothering him about hanging out for his birthday. Neither of those things he liked.

Jeremy liked presents sure but he wasn't in love with them. Presents hosted money or time to make, they costed dedication and for someone to actually be thinking about him. And sure, maybe it wasn't the actual present that Jeremy disliked but the idea and the sentiment that came from it Jeremy didn't like expressing his emotions, he didn't like revealing the raw side of him that others didn't get to usually see. He hated to feel like he had to give something back in return and he felt like it was expected of him. 

When his parents got divorced, neither side really had much money and both of them still don't. His dad admitted that he didn't have a lot but would still try to get a present for him, “Whatever you want. I'll get it, ” he said to Jeremy. His mom on the other hand blatantly asked him what he wanted and when he responded he didn't know she said that he was boring and chastised him for trying to tell her to not spend money on him.

It reminded him why he didn't visit her much, aside from other things.

And then with birthdays came friends and hanging out. Back when it was just him and Michael it was easier, Michael was a lowkey, laid back, chill guy who seemed eager to go with Jeremy’s plans. But now that they actually had other friends Michael  _ agreed  _ with them and it was even worse because now they were dating. Jeremy didn't understand why that mattered since the only thing that changed was that they held hands and made out (a lot).

When he turned seventeen he satisfied his friends need to go outside and hang out despite it being the middle of winter by going to the museum. 

This year he didn't want to do… anything.

Jeremy wanted it to be just another day. His birthday fell on Wednesday, a school day, meaning he was going to be bombarded with everyone. 

In all honesty and truth, he felt completely apathetic towards his own birthday.

It was just another day. He just wanted a normal day.

Part of him also wanted to be celebrated. He wanted to have the type of birthday that you see in high school movies where the birthday person would have a big party and they would have a whole special day. Everything would go right and correct. They would love and feel lavished in the attention; roll in the adoration; enjoy being worshipped; be treated like the king that he truly deserved to be.

Except Jeremy wasn't a king. He didn't feel like one and he didn't want to be. He had tried to be king once, tried to make himself special and popular and loveable, tried to be everything he had ever wanted to be and it had given more damage than it was worth. Hours in therapy had just barely managed to fix him and yet he still felt like holding the cracks of himself together by fingertips the walk starting to give way from the pressure felt from the other side. 

Jeremy didn't deserve to be worshiped, or adored, or loved or admired.

He didn't deserve to be selfish, to ask things of others.

So, he laid in bed. The apathy had turned to dread. He stared at his ceiling, wanting nothing more than to forget his birthday tomorrow or to wake up and be someone who actually enjoys it.

The last day before his birthday was meant to be quiet and not remind him of the next day, of all the sudden pressure people had on him. Yet all day he was reminded of his birthday.

He knew everyone meant well. Knew his dad was genuinely excited every time he yelled, “Eighteen!” before going on a small rant about how Jeremy had grown so fast. Jeremy also knew that his friends were excited to celebrate too. They had been texting him all day and reminding him in school.

 

**Detective Pikachu:** How many photos am I allowed to post tomorrow?

 

**Just Say No:** as many as you want ig

 

**Detective Pikachu:** Wait am I allowed to post about it? 

Also, I just wanted to ask because I have like 70 photos of you because you're pretty

 

**Just Say No:** h. how did you get so many?

 

**Detective Pikachu:** Christine has more but Michael has so many, he sent me a few of these actually

 

Jeremy didn't respond to that, setting his phone back down. His friends meant well, they all did. But he couldn't explain to them what it was like.

He was just another guy and he wanted just another normal day.

His phone buzzing some him up at 12 A.M. and he rolled over to check it, squinting at the screen.

 

**Sunflower:** it's 12 meaning that you're now a legal adult in New Jersey time

**Sunflower:** And i know you don't really like your birthday but uh i just wanted to be the first one to say it

**Sunflower:** I wanted to let you know that i love you, a lot, youre my best friend and the best boyfriend and i really do hope you have a good birthday today, and i want you to know that ill always support you

Anyway thats enough sap, see you tomorrow loser

 

**Just Say No:** i love you too


End file.
